Little did I know!!!

Prose Non-Tech

I told her, “look, I told you ‘I love you’, it is a feeling that I feel for you, it wasn’t a proposal, more like a confession (little did I know how it would turn up then) if you too feel the same then you should acknowledge by saying the same and not that ‘I’m ok with what you said’”. Yeah, I was that pathetic talking to my girlfriend back then or was I? 😉

Sorry sorry, I would have been over your heads and out of context, both at once.

My bad or was it??? 😜

Okay, so, here is the context to it… Not that somebody has to care but to try telling it in a different style or in the style I’m trying the first time.

It was during my first out-station techfest1, a trip to Chennai. It was about a 5-6 day trip with about 30 of my friends from my department of my college. I had this some kind of strange feeling the first time I saw her or maybe I think so… No, she wasn’t all too fair in complexion, No, she wasn’t wearing a white or red or yellow dress with a pink or maroon or black dupatta (respectively 🤪) and No again, her dupatta wasn’t flying over my face nor she did she leave her hair loose that set odour in the air that I was supposed to breathe. As far as I remember she hadn’t even wash her hair that day, I mean, I think it was oily. Its now that you should think either ‘love is blind’ or ‘buy yourself a mirror, bro!’ but only my fellow sailors of the single’s ship would say “yeah, temme about it…” (feeling they know everything, which is although almost true) and just for your information, I comb my hair everyday, so, I would look at myself everyday in the mirror and as a matter of fact, such delusions ceased to show up even in the Indian cinema when the bvoy Mr. Chetan Bhagat incepted. I just wonder if the filmmakers dropped the idea by feeling threatened or pissed? 😜

Anyways, after about 2 months since we met we went to that Chennai trip that I mentioned earlier. The first 2-3 days, we were participating in various events and cared excreta about anything else but 2 days before the last, My teammate and myself had a presentation to deliver. The best part was not that the presentation was not ready but that it wasn’t even started and we haven’t even effin had a laptop. I just started my 2nd yr of UG then and yeah, engineers in India do not even have them after decades of graduation (exaggerated a bit, maybe). By the way, forgot to mention, my college also sent a professor with us to look upon us at all times. Little did we bother about him, you see! (😜). So, the day before our presentation, I took permission from my prof (as I had to or at least he thought so… just to ensure to not to hurt his ego) to go to an internet cafe with my teammate (not my girlfriend already, then).

We came out of the campus looking for a ride and found one. That was the time when the locals could make out that we were not one among them and and that we’d know nothing about nothing without even one full glance at us. That naive we were… or at least we looked! The auto-rikshaw guy decided to drop us at the cafe for 100 bucks. I was not sure if I had bargained well. Soon I realised though, when he took a U-turn and dropped us on the same road but right on the opposite side of the street where we boarded it.

In parallel, my friends already started gossiping about us and I didn’t bother much as I know that gossiping started when the third person evolved on the planet and at least one among them was a female.

In the internet cafe, we both took different terminals dividing work. I was fighting to refrain myself from looking at her and concentrate at the task at hand. After about a couple of hours of the battle (I do not remember how many and it doesn’t even matter, does it?), the presentation took a good shape or at least we thought.

Then came the D-day. We felt a sudden surge of tension. Our presentation was scheduled for 2pm, having no breakfast or lunch, we gave our presentation. It went really well, we learnt a lot or should we say we were royally raped (only figuratively) on the dias? The panel had started explaining certain concepts conveying our thoughts were absurd, they didn’t just say the word, I guess (not a bad thing though, I effin still remember what that they have explained!). Coming out of the hall I completed my part of weeping, briefly in about 10-15 seconds for that wonderful fiasco (It wasn’t a full heartful cry though, just the one to ensure my prof and friends noticed that I was serious about that and mentally I was actually happy for learning something)2 and then she fainted, my vision was blurred at not being able to comprehend the situation. Not such an un-comprehend-able situation though, it was just empty-stomach and I just got it exaggerated it in my mind. Then I realised something, remember that strange feeling that I told you hit me the first time I saw her?, hit me again only this time it was harder and I was down like completely, not physically but yes, completely (I guess). I was feeling some pain but I’m sure that wasn’t physical. I was glad when she came back to her senses but the pain in me persisted.

Now, have you ever heard of anything sh**tier than “that pain actually made me happy” kind of thing? Yeah, I was the guy saying that. I know this must be sounding more dramatic than the most dramatic piece anybody has ever thought of but yes, I felt so. and come on, I was just 19, inexperienced and naive back then…

However, for the last day of that trip we planned a day full for shopping or should I say window shopping? The whole day I just stayed with the group that had her. Not a word I said to her that day. I was very much occupied with stealing glances of her. Evidently, everybody including her noticed and nobody reacted or confronted. The reactions saw their share of light through rumours though. Sadly, the people in the rumours were at one level and the rumours were at the next! I started wondering when did all that they were talking about happened? But one thing was clear, the definition and the mechanism of a Rumour!

Coming back from the trip, we started talking over phone like all night. And in about a week or so, I let it out, those so called magical words. About a month or so later, just a day before one of our mutual friend’s birthday she said ‘ok’. This is when I lectured her about what was ok?, knowingly (coz, maybe even I wanted to here it from her, the so called magical words, little did I foresee then). Connect the 1st para here for better clarity…

After that, nothing different happened to what that was already penned or portrayed in any good romantic books or movies, until marriage. Yes, she got married to that guy she asked me not to worry about 🤪… … and, what happened next? …. What would happen? We were living happily ever after… Yes, me and myself… … or, am I?

2 Men’s cries usually aren’t real, if they’re done in public. Not that one shouldn’t, one wouldn’t!

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